*hey there, it's christa*

Greenlighted: "Bridget Jones 3"

As I get ready to review what's bound to be another rom-com dud from Katherine Heigl in The Ugly Truth (seriously, I'm just not sold on her as the next Reese Witherspoon yet, are you?), I'm excited about this bit on movie news about Renée Zellweger agreeing to pack on the pounds again as Bridget Jones.

Normally I'm not a huge fan of sequels unless they involve hobbits and a trip to Middle-Earth, but the Bridget Jones movies have always been a favorite of mine because of the brilliant casting of both Colin Firth and Hugh Grant (just seeing two wussy Brits fight is worth the price of admission). Plus, as ditzy as she is, I can't help rooting for poor Bridget, and I'm sure the third installment is going to involve potential pregnancy and babies, which was a pretty funny subplot last time around.

Too bad their wasn't an accompanying book in the meantime, but I guess that's okay if the movie is funnier than any of the rom-coms released this past year (still holding out hope for (500) Days of Summer, though. I've been hearing very good things).

Seriously, Where Have All the Good Rom-Coms Gone?

This is a question I've been wanting to ask for a while...

My personal collection is stocked with the gems...You've Got Mail, Sleepless in Seattle, The Devil Wears Prada, My Best Friend's Wedding, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Notting Hill, Pretty Woman, While You Were Sleeping...you get the idea.

Now trust me, I don't expect cinematic greatness from your average rom-com. I mean, c'mon, I absolutely loved The Wedding Planner and it stars J.Lo.

But I'd argue that there was even a little something about The Wedding Planner that puts the recent stinky trifecta of Bride Wars, Confessions of a Shopaholic and Ghosts of Girlfriends Past to shame. It's called comedy and romance, the very words that describe the genre itself and endeared it to a sap like me.

Matthew McConaughey had had a couple of great rom-com moments (namely in the aforementioned Wedding Planner and the first time he teamed up with Kate Hudson in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. Fool's Gold, on the other hand, was merely an excuse to let him and Kate spend 10 or so hours a day at the gym and tanning bed), but Ghosts is definitely not one of them. In fact, it'll make you forget the past you thought wanted to run from, and inspire you to find the theater's exit instead. Pronto.

Not only is he so unlikeable as yet another boy/man cad that you seriously wish he'd stumble off a cliff during his drunken stupor rather than reconcile with Jennifer Garner's character, but he's so unforgettable that you wonder if there was any reason (other than the paycheck) that drew him to a script that cast him in such a bad, predictable light. I mean, I'm sure he's got enough self awareness to know that he's not about to win an Oscar any time soon, but you think he'd want his work to challenge him a little, right?

Or at least to actually entertain his bevy of female fans?

Alas, the movie is just as flat and lame as the trailer would indicate, which still leaves The Holiday as the last rom-com I thoroughly enjoyed from start to finish. I hear there's a new Hugh Grant (!!!) on the way in December, but until then, my fingers are crossed that Sandra Bullock's return to rom-coms will deliver in The Proposal. Sigh.

The Requisite Post-Oscar Post

First off, I was very excited about the prospect of Hugh Jackman injecting some much-needed life into what's always a very, very long Oscar ceremony, and now all I can say is, well, at least it was different.

But in the future, I hope they rethink the overly long musical numbers (seriously, that was the work of Baz Luhrmann...must have been a rushed effort) and the blathering on and on and on about each Best Actor/Actress nominee. Let's face it: Someone's going to win and the rest are going to lose, so why prolong the inevitable? Just show a quick clip of the movie, announce the winner and be done with it, okay? I mean the audience has already waited three hours (!!!) for these particular awards. And my guess is that it didn't exactly change Angelina Jolie's life when Nicole Kidman raved on and on about her performance in Changeling when she knew she didn't have a chance in holy hannah of upsetting Kate Winslet. But I digress.

Or wait a minute.

While I'm still in full-on grumping mode, can somebody please promise me that Queen Latifah will never, ever sing again during the "In Memoriam" portion of the show? II wasn't ever sure if I was supposed to look at her or the ever-changing video clips of the dearly departed, which is a little sad. If this year's A-D-D approach wasn't already distracting enough, I also hated the whole unspoken, let's-see-which-dead-celebrity-gets-the-most-applause contest going on. I think it would be far more respectful if everyone simply clapped once all the people have been acknowleged. But I'm getting the sense that this is just like your high school or college graduation where people simply can't resist clapping or woo hooing, even if they know better.

On the plus side, though...Tina Fey and Steve Martin's bit was great snarky fun. In fact, I kind of wish they had hosted the entire show rather than People's "Sexiest Man Alive." I also have to give props to Ben Stiller for his funny take on Joaquin Pheonix. While Joaquin is definitely an easy target these days given his whole "I've quit acting" foray into rap music, that little bit of humor, not to mention James Franco's Pineapple Express take on all the serious "Best Picture" fare almost made up for having to suffer through all those boring technical awards. Because c'mon, even as cool as great cinematography and special efforts are in movies, it's not all that interesting in the Oscar context.

Not that I needed that pan to Angelina Jolie when Jennifer Aniston was presenting to keep me entertained, though. I thought that little pan of the camera was in really poor taste, especially when it happened for the second time. Seriously, I mean Jennifer and Brad broke up like five years ago, right? Why do people still care?

Moving on to the fashion portion of the evening, I thought most of the dresses were pretty blasé, didn't you? All those one-shouldered dressed seriously need to be retired pronto—and the same goes for any dress that's white, silver or gold. Can we say B-O-R-I-N-G? A little color is good now and then, and that especially goes for you, Ms. Jolie. Black, black, black...I'm beginning to think your choices in the pre-Brad days were far more interesting...weirdo brother in tow and all.

My favorite Oscar outfit for the evening is a toss-up between Natalie Portman's gorgeous pink gown (with flawless make-up and hair to boot), Penelope Cruz's vintage number and the lovely blue creation that Slumdog Millionaire lead Frieda Pinto wore. And for the boys, it was nice to see the Twilight's Robert Pattinson clean up and act all awkward in the spotlight when he introduced the "year in romance" montage.

As for the fashionally challenged, those honors go to Beyoncé, whose mother should never, ever dress her again, Jessica Biel's sad little Prada bathrobe (or at least that's what it looked like on TV), Melissa Leo's awful burnt sienna dress and stiff '80s hair and Miley Cyrus' curious choice of couture that not only wasn't age appropriate but looked like it weighed more than she did. With millions of dollars to their names, you'd think this girls would have better taste (or at least a stylist who did). A special note to "Project Runway" host Heidi Klum, you didn't follow Tim Gunn's advice to make it work. Not only was your dress poorly constructed, but your hair didn't look like it had experienced the wonders of shampoo in years. When Rob Pattinson's hair looks 100 times cleaner by comparison, you know you're in trouble. Big trouble.

Overall rating of Oscars 2009: ** 1/2 out of **** stars

Behind the Scenes of "New in Town"

A couple of weeks ago, I happily left the chilly confines of Minnesota behind, flew to L.A. and ending up watching a movie about people forced to endure the subzero Minnesota temps.

At least I could relate to what the characters were going through, right?

But the experience turned out to be a ton of fun. Not only was I was lovin' the 80-degree temps once I left the theater, but I thought New in Town was a pretty enjoyable romantic comedy to boot (definitely a plus these days with the likes of Bride Wars and last year's Made of Honor and 27 Dresses stinkin' it up royally in terms of good, girlie escapist entertainment).

And now, with no more yammering on from yours truly, here's the feature I wrote about the movie (featuring some splendid quotes from Harry Connick Jr., Renée Zellweger and funnywoman Siobhan Fallon).

By the way, that nice accompanying pic of Harry and Renée sitting on the couch is courtesy of Lionsgate.

Yep, It's Awards Season Again!

Around this time each year, Hollywood salutes its own with weeks worth of festivities. And like most movie buffs, I enjoy tuning in—especially for the red carpet arrivals to find out "who" everyone is wearing.

While it was fun to watch the stars prance down the red carpet in gorgeous couture in anticipation of the annual SAG Awards (with a few notable exceptions...more on that in a minute), I have to admit that I was thisclose to whipping a nearby throw pillow every time E!'s Giuliana Rancic asked a celeb a question. I mean, I'm not exactly asking for something on par with Doeteosky here. But the more time that passed, I was beginning to see why Brangelina was looking rather perturbed as one inane question after the next was posed. Heck, I'm thinking even Seacrest could've come up with something more coherent—or at least intriguing enough to prevent Mr. Pitt from saying "next question" after Giuliana asked him how "Angie" (what, does she think she's BFFs with her or something?) inspires him personally and professionally. Blah, blah, blah.

Thankfully, the wide range of fashion almost made up for the lack of interesting interviews. Almost. I do miss the crazier days where celebs embraced the truly ridiculous (a la Bjork's infamous swan custom or Cher's bum-baring jumpsuits) for awards shows. Today, it's all stylists and understated beauty. But I do have to say that Eva Longoria Parker should've seriously considered a new get-up. Between the badly mussed tresses and the ugly, much-too-ruffly orange sack dress she was wearing, I thought she was auditioning for a show in Vegas. Ditto for the usually fashionable Emily Blunt who seems to have bedazzled a roll of tin foil, wrapped it around herself really, really tight and called it a dress. While it's definitely befitting of today's cost-conscious recessionista, I'm thinking that Emily the assistant from The Devil Wears Prada that Blunt portrayed so snarkily, would've been less than pleased with the ensemble.

There were a few good choices on the ol' red carpet, though. Kate Winslet looked gorgeous in deep blue (and claims that she didn't exercise and still continues to eat what she wants, which definitely makes me a bit pea green with envy). Anne Hathaway rocked a white frock that was befitting of a girl starring in not one, but two wedding-themed movies. Thankfully, she didn't look even a bit too bridal. But my favorite moment of the night was courtesy of Ms. Meryl Streep who unexpectedly won the "Best Actress" trophy. Not only did she look genuinely surprised and seemed geniunely grateful for the honor, but she poked fun at herself for not exactly dressing the part of a winner and gave a really funny, spontaneous speech to boot. Unlike Sally Field's loud blathering about politics and how Hollywood shapes society so brilliantly or whatever, Streep kept it real and classy, which ultimately made the whole show worth watching.

My Top 10 Movies of 2008

Yes, it's that time of year when magazine editors get a serious case of listmania. Even during my CCM days, the focus group stats always showed that readers really enjoyed this sort of thing, so as a staff, we often got quite list-y ourselves—especially toward the end of the year.

So in celebration of this most list-y time of the year, I'm submitting one of my own—My Top 10 Movies of 2008. * For the record, this isn't a list where I'm wearing my critic's hat for Crosswalk.com. Instead, these are the flicks I really, truly enjoyed for a variety of reasons—just as a fan of films in general.

For those keeping track at home, I reviewed 45 flicks this year (including those I did junkets and interviews for) for Crosswalk and saw countless others just for the fun of it.

Basically, I spent a lot of time in those cushy theater chairs. And now with no further adieu, here's my illustrious best-of list...

10)Penelope, starring Christina Ricci, James McAvoy and Reese Witherspoon
This movie's release date was delayed several times which typically has "disaster" written all over it. But this adorable fable about a girl who is born with an unfortunate pig's nose and is forced to find love to "break the curse" is an unexpected delight. Both the leads, not to mention a bad-girl cameo by Witherspoon are pitch perfect.

9)Australia, starring Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman
No, it's not as much fun as Moulin Rouge, but Baz Lurhmann's latest movie has sumptuous visuals and plenty of old-movie charm if you're willing to hang in there after a slow-ish beginning. Think Gone With the Wind in the Australian outback, and you're right on the money (no matter what the critics say).

8)21, starring Jim Sturgess, Kate Bosworth and Kevin Spacey
Watching a group of brilliant MIT students win—and lose—their money in Vegas has never been more fun in this fun, fast-paced cautionary tale. Plus, the song by MGMT in the soundtrack flat out rocks.

7)Changeling, starring Angelina Jolie and John Malkovich
Although Jolie doesn't fare so well in those scenes where she's a mother, (strange, considering she's got six kids of her own) this true story of a mother who loses her son, only to have the LAPD "find" him and bring back a completely different kid for her to take care of, will totally break your heart. 

6)The Visitor, starring, well, probably nobody you've ever heard of
I'm guessing if Will saw this one, he'd call it a little "Shawshank-y," the word he coined for flicks like The Shawshank Redemption, the sort of uber cheesy movies everyone says are their favorite. Potentially shawshank-y or not, though, I adored the story of a college professor who discovers a pair of illegal immigrants (the victims of a NYC apartment scam) unexpectedly living in his apartment. Yes, there are the requisite lessons learned, but I thought it had a great message (and a fantastic screenplay) nonetheless.

5)Ghost Town, starring Ricky Gervais, Greg Kinnear and Tea Leoni
Nobody seems to have actually seen this movie, (the box office numbers were very, very dismal), and it's a real shame because Ghost Town was unexpectedly funny and thoroughly enjoyable. It's hard to think of David Brent (a.k.a. the obnoxious boss on the BBC's version of The Office) as a leading man, but somehow, it works. Thanks to his dry sense of humor and a fascinating premise, you can't help but smile when he's trying to win Tea Leoni's character over with his very limited charm. Per usual, Greg Kinnear was great as a cad (albeit a dead one).

4)Iron Man, starring Robert Downey Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow and Terrance Howard
If Ricky Gervais as a romantic hero wasn't tough enough to buy, I was also supposed to believe that ex- bad boy Robert Downey Jr. could rock it as a superhero this summer. Well, as it turns out, he really can. Not only was his cynical sense of humor a huge plus, but his gadgets, especially that super cool costume of his, were about as good as it gets for not being The Dark Knight.

3)The Dark Knight, starring Christian Bale, Heath Ledger, Aaron Eckhart and Maggie Gyllenhaal
Seriously, what can be said about The Dark Knight that hasn't already been said? Yeah, it was absolutely terrific. Heath's performance definitely wasn't over-hyped. Maggie was definitely better than Katie in her teeny-tiny role (but that's not saying much), and Aaron Eckhart was seriously underrated. Sure, the whole Two-Face character was a bit tacked on, but he still managed to shine. Makes you kind of sad for Batman himself because it wasn't really his movie.

2)Quantum of Solace, starring Daniel Craig, Judi Dench and Mathieu Amalric
Until Daniel Craig took on the James Bond role, I never could understand the fascination with this particular spy—British (which I loooove) or not. He said cheesy things; he always got the girl. Blah, blah, blah. But Craig gave Bond a more human, even flawed flair that you could really rally around in Casino Royale. As good a Royale was however, the deck was definitely stacked in its favor to far surpass anything the filmmakers could do with Quantum of Solace. And even though Solace isn't nearly as character-driven (one of Royale's biggest strengths), the stunts, not to mention the addition of the always-brilliant Mathieu Amalric as a villian, makes the whole experience a ton of fun to watch. In fact, I already can't wait for the next one...

And my #1 film for 2008 is (drum roll, please)...

Wall-E, starring an adorable hunk of junk (a.k.a. a lo-fi trash compactor), his sweetheart EVE and old Hello Dolly clips thrown in for good measure
Pixar has taken another unlikely premise, thrown in a heaping portion of creativity and has created the most entertaining, heart-wrenching and sweetly superb movie of the year. Not only is the animation truly out of this world, but this unlikely love story gets its legs not from savvy dialogue, but from the little bleeps and far-off looks exchanged between the two leads.

*Now of course, had I seen Yes Man, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button or Marley and Me (I'll be screening these next week), they probably would've squeaked in the Top 10 somewhere, but I'm okay with their omission for now (I'll let you know in a future blog entry if they're actually worth seeing).

No list of Top 10 movies is complete without an honorable mention section, right? So here goes...Bolt, Get Smart, Definitely Maybe, Twilight and the latest installment of Indiana Jones were enjoyable-enough cinematic diversions this year (just not superior enough for the elusive, cat-daddy Top-10 list).

Lastly, for the people out there wondering what the single worst movie was this year, that's an easy one. The embarrassingly bad Mike Myers-Justin Timberlake movie, The Love Guru, wins hands down. It was so awful (not to mention insulting) that I can't even begin to describe its sheer awfulness. But I'm guessing you may have figured that out from the trailer, right? Let's hope so...I was forced to watch it an assignment and tried to steer away as many would-be viewers as possible.

So what were your favorite movies of 2008? Leave a comment, won't ya?

Movies, Movies and More Movies!

While I have ho-hum days at my job like everyone else does, (especially when it involves transcribing long interviews—one of my least favorite tasks), I'm not going to lie and say that seeing three movies for work this week is a bad gig (even without popcorn for two out of three of them).

Now sometimes I do get a real stinker to review like say, Fool's Gold or Prom Night. But thankfully, this week's crop of movies weren't that bad even if Four Christmases did turn out to be the cinematic equivalent of expired egg nog. Truth be told, both Christmas and Vince Vaughn/Reese Witherspoon deserved a better movie.

Seriously making up for the sophomoric humor, however, was Bolt (a kiddie movie that made me laugh for the better part of 90 minutes) and Baz Luhrmann's Australia, a big, old-fashioned picture that could be best described as Gone With the Wind in the Australian Outback. And while not nearly as long as Scarlett's adventures in Tara and beyond, Australia isn't exactly an A-D-D person's dream movie as it clocks in at 2 1/2 hours. But aside from a slow-ish start, I was captivated for the duration, whether it was the lush, quick-panning visuals (Luhrmann's trademark), the sweeping love story or the gentle commentary on racism and injustice. And who knew that skinny 'lil Nicole Kidman would be so great at herding cattle?

In fact, she and Hugh Jackman make such a great screen couple that I may even forgive her for making Stepford Wives, and in my opinion the worst excuse for handing out an Oscar, The Hours. I mean, did you see that? I don't think I've ever watched something where I wanted everyone to die (and quickly) just so the torture wouldn't carry on and on and on. I don't care if she did don a prosthetic nose, what a hideous movie!

Okay, off tangent, back on topic...Like everyone else on the planet, I also recently saw the new Bond movie, Quantum of Solace. Proving once again that he really is one fantastic Bond, Daniel Craig really rocked this with a little Jason Bourne thrown in for good measure. And while I really liked Casino Royale's Bond girl Eva Green so much better than Olga What's Her Name, I thought the flick really maintained the gritty spirit of the first, even though I really missed the gadgets. But with no cheesy "Shaken, Not Stirred" lines, maybe I can forgo a few nifty gadgets, right?

And now for my official star ratings (one=atrocious and four=instant classic) since we don't do them at Crosswalk...

Four Christmases: ** 1/2 (and that's only because of the scene where they all play Taboo and Vince Vaughn's funny fast-talking wisecracks)
Bolt ***
Australia *** 1/2
Quantum of Solace *** 1/2

Film Comment: Madagascar 2

While the original installment of Madagascar made a serious bundle of cash back in 2005, there still wasn’t anything particularly remarkable about it. Sure, there were the cute animals, silly songs and a few humorous moments that you’d expect with a character voiced by Ben Stiller leading the pack, but when compared with the wealth of quality kid-friendly fare these days, well, it didn’t really deliver with so-so animation, a lackluster storyline and largely forgettable characters.

Thankfully, the filmmakers didn’t make the same mistake twice with Madagascar:  Escape 2 Africa.

While certainly not up to the Pixar level of craftsmanship yet, the animation is more vivid and vivacious this time around. Rather than flat, one-dimensional drawing, there’s plenty of texture, movement and attention to detail that makes one feel as if he/she has escaped to Africa right along with the animals. Speaking of those cuddly creatures, their individual stories are much more realized this time around, whether it’s the slightly narcissistic, performance-loving lion Alex (Stiller), his wise-cracking zebra pal Marty (Chris Rock), the self-assured romantic Gloria the Hippo (Jada Pinkett Smith) who always reminds everyone she sees that “big is beautiful” or the Eeyore-esque hypochondriac of the bunch, Melman the giraffe (David Schwimmer).

Picking right up from where the story left off last time around, this group of misfit New York zoo animals can’t wait to get back to where they feel they belong—The Big Apple. But there’s just one problem with what seems like a sensible plan: The plane they’re flying on is a make-shift aircraft at best, not that the penguin pilots care in the least. When a warning light keeps flashing, much to their annoyance, they simply kick it into submission, causing the plane to begin its all-too-quick descent to the ground.

And like the title of the movie suggests—they eventually wind up in Africa rather than Central Park.

Once Alex and his friends arrive safely, however, they slowly begin to appreciate the beauty and diversity of their new surroundings. Unlike New York where they’re coddled and lavished attention on by the masses on a daily basis, they’re now in the wild with thousands of their own kind with far better survival instincts. It’s a difficult adjustment at first, especially for Marty who doesn’t feel like he can stand out in a crowd of zebras who happen to look just like him.

While Gloria wrestles with matters of the heart, namely a new crush on a suave hippo so great that you say his name twice—Moto Moto (will.i.am.) and Melman is convinced he’s going to die in only a couple of days because of some rare, rapid-fire disease, Alex has reunited with his family for the first time since he was a cub.

Borrowing from The Lion King storyline—but with plenty of clever puns and slapstick humor to keep the story from becoming too heavy—Alex has a few sweet moments of getting back in touch with his roots (and his parents) before the dreaded rite of passage that would grant him full citizenship in the kingdom. Much like Scar’s role in The Lion King, an evil lion named Makunga (Alec Baldwin) has his own selfish interests in mind. Sabotaging the ceremony by setting Alex up for failure, (he tells him it’s going to be more of a dance-off, when in truth, he’s going to be fighting the biggest guy in the neighborhood) Alex’s father Zuba (Bernie Mac), the reigning king, sacrifices his own position so he doesn’t have to banish his own son.

Only minutes later, Makunga does what Zuma wouldn’t and Alex is forced to leave. Wearing a silly fruit hat of failure, he eventually regroups with his buddies. This time away from the pack actually provides the bulk of the movie’s comedic moments, especially with Sacha Baron Cohen’s character who is so memorable in his sheer nuttiness. And the penguins that ended up stealing the show last time around with their trademark deadpan humor are back and funnier than ever. Oftentimes it’s a little sad when side characters steal the lead’s thunder, but in this case, it only serves to enhance what’s ultimately a tighter, smarter movie that’ll provide plenty of comic relief (and a few lessons)  for parents and kids alike.

True Confessions of a Movie Critic

As I was enjoying a leisurely breakfast and flipping the channels this morning, I came across Hope Floats on VH-1, a Southern dramedy that stars two people I normally like a lot—Sandra Bullock and Harry Connick Jr.

Unfortunately, their inherent likability didn't quite make up for how truly bad this movie is, but I thought I'd give it another chance. After all, some movies (like Zoolander or Elizabethtown did for me) get better the more you watch them, right?

But after watching all the overly dramatic acting (that's you, Ms. Bullock), the overabundance of big, toothy smiles that's ideally supposed to make up for such corny dialogue (that's you, Mr. Connick) and countless references to wearable roadkill (I sooo wish I was kidding), I pretty much arrived at the same conclusion I'd made when I paid money to see it in the theater.

Yes, I hate it just as much.

But watching it did bring to mind one of my all-time favorite lines in a movie review: Hope floats, and so does poop.

Yeah, it's crass but I laugh every time I think of it (and secretly hope that I'll come up with something as gut-bustingly funny in one of my movie reviews). So I guess I can thank Sandy and Harry for making a flick worthy of a snarky observation like that, right?

Film Comment: Flash of Genius

 When I first heard that my one of my favorite Gilmore girls was going to be starring in a movie with one of my favorite actors, Greg Kinnear, I thought "Perfect. Can't wait." But unfortunately as you'll read below, Flash of Genius wasn't all that genius—not even close.

Too bad.

WARNING:  This review below contains spoilers. If you actually want to be surprised by what happens, then please don’t read any further.

With all the distressing headlines about the economy lately, a dramatic, David-and-Goliath account of a man brave enough to stand up to a monolith—and actually win—well, that can’t help but have “feel-good movie” written all over it.

But even with the essential ingredients in place, including a compelling, based-on-a-true-story backdrop and another strong leading performance from Greg Kinnear, languid pacing and unimaginative, heavy-handed presentation prevent Flash of Genius from being anything more than a flash in the pan.

As a college professor, sometimes inventor and father of six, Robert Kearns (Kinnear) is determined to make a significant contribution to the world. After several failed inventions and what seems like a hum-drum day job (he clearly doesn’t have a passion for teaching), the proverbial light bulb goes off in Robert’s head as he’s driving his family home from church one particularly rainy Sunday. Half blind in his left eye because of a champagne cork gone awry on his wedding night, Robert simply can’t figure out why his windshield wipers don’t work the way the eye does when it blinks. And so the idea is sparked for intermittent wipers—a groundbreaking creation that Robert executes, along with the help of his equally enthusiastic kids, in his basement.

Satisfying Robert’s craving for purpose and ultimately recognition, it’s not long before the Ford Motor Co. sees opportunity knocking and shows a strong interest in marketing his work. Excited about the way his life is about to change in a seemingly significant fashion, Robert and his wife Phyllis (Lauren Graham) are endearingly naïve about the ways of big business, and of course, everything doesn’t quite go off without a hitch like they expected. After the company drags its feet for weeks and weeks, Robert is informed that Ford is no longer interested in working with him. Unable to reconcile this disturbing turn of events, the situation only gets worse when Robert discovers a curiously identical product a few months later during Ford’s new product launch party.

Rather than just let it go and move on with his life, Robert simply can’t. And even when he’s offered a rather generous settlement to make the situation disappear quietly, Robert not only doesn’t accept the cash, but has determined to fight against Ford’s pilfering of his patents—even though everyone, including his once-supportive wife, tells him he’s wasting his time.

Undeterred, even to the point of his own insanity, Robert invests all of his energy into the endeavor, losing his job and eventually his family in the process. And while it’s certainly a noble pursuit to see someone rally for what’s right rather than conceding in favor of the almighty dollar, Kearns is placed on such a glorious pedestal by the filmmakers that the important sacrifices he makes (like blatantly neglecting his family) are neatly swept under the rug. The audience never sees the gritty realities of such a decision—the moments where Robert probably wanted to give up—because the screenwriter never bothered to give Robert any other emotion but unbridled, stubborn determination. And sadly, we don’t even see a twinge of regret when the wife he clearly loves so much in the beginning of the film leaves. Instead, he naively assumes she’ll come back as soon as it’s all over, even if it’s years and years down the road.

The affair then grows increasingly more hokey in the poorly executed courtroom scenes later on. Lacking the legal complexity of even your basic John Grisham novel, the arguments made by both sides are so simplistic and cheesy that it’s almost insulting to the viewer. Right is clearly so right and wrong is clearly so wrong that you’d think the filmmakers forgot about the power of nuance. And that feeling of being force-fed the moral ultimately disappoints in what’s supposed to be the climatic moment.

Not only is David’s defeat of Goliath not nearly as fulfilling, but it makes Flash of Genius an appropriate title, albeit unintentionally. Sure, the idea for the intermittent wiper may have been genius, but the accompanying movie doesn’t quite live up to all the hype.