Hey There, It's Christa!

DVR Watch: How Did the Newbies Fare in Week 2?

Well, I've officially eliminated one show from my Fall "Must-See TV." After a promising-enough start last week, I'm officially over "Whitney."

Aside from the fact that I really couldn't care less about these characters (yeah, it happened that fast), but the whole taped-in-front-of-a-studio-audience factor was the proverbial nail in the coffin.

Really, what's the point of having a live studio audience when all the applause sounds exactly the same?

Whether it's the big joke or a moment that's not even remotely guffaw-worthy, it never varies. Plus, it's just annoying. Ever notice how strange it sounds when you're watching Friends re-runs? Well, it's even weirder a decade later because it seems so incredibly dated. Note to NBC: Can the laugh track, but even then, I won't be tuning in.

As for "New Girl," I liked this week's episode a teensy bit better, while my enthusiasm for "Two Broke Girls" actually waned a bit. Guess we'll see what next week brings. In the meantime, I'm glad I can always count on "Chopped" to deliver the proper dose of television excitement. :)

Gut Reaction: "New Girl," "Whitney" and "Two Broke Girls"

I've never been much of a TV watcher (save for my favorite Food Network shows), but when I find something I like, I'm fiercely loyal.

In fact, in the absence of anything new that's really commanded my attention, I'll often revisit my tried-and-true standbys like "Gilmore Girls," "Alias," "Friends" and "Felicity," not to mention Will and I's recent find, the hilarious adventures of Bret and Jemaine on "Flight of the Conchords."

For the record, we know "Concords" was shown on HBO ages ago, but it's still new to us, so there. :)

But after a while, even your favorite shows need to be retired (at least, temporarily), so I decided to DVR some potentially promising options that debuted last week—"New Girl," starring the always-adorable Zooey Deschanel, "Whitney," starring Chelsea Handler's snarky sidekick and "Two Broke Girls" with Kat Dennings because, well, sarcasm never goes out of the style, right?

Based on what I read in Entertainment Weekly's annual TV preview, I fully expected that "New Girl" would be my new favorite, hands down. Crowned the "best new comedy" of the fall by countless critics I respect, I was actually puzzled by my lack of enthusiasm once the closing credits rolled.

There was something about it that just rang hollow, and trust me, I wasn't exactly expecting War and Peace. Not only was it impossible to buy the impossibly cute Deschanel as this total dork (sorry, but oversized glasses and dated denim overalls isn't enough to scream "undatable doofus"), but the brand of zany they're selling (her character, Jess, not only reverts to watching Dirty Dancing whenever she's sad, but she randomly sings nonsensical lyrics whenever the mood strikes, too) is actually far more cloying than endearing. And considering Jess is who we're supposed to care the most about, that's not a good thing.

Meanwhile, don't even get me started on those roommates of hers... Sure, they're textbook attractive, but there's not much else going on there, definitely nothing resembling actual personalities. Even the characters from  TBS's My Boys (which had a similar premise) made a more memorable impression the first time I watched it. Nonetheless, I'm still hoping there's just something I didn't "get" the first time around and that the second episode will be better. Fingers crossed, anyway.

As for "Whitney," I wasn't really expecting much, and I was mildly amused by her antics. Like the TV spots I saw again and again during NBC's Sunday night football, she's like the best friend in your average rom-com—kooky, full of zingy one-liners and lacking any real sense of decorum in meaningful social occasions like weddings. If anything, you're left wondering if her staunch, non-comfortist shtick can be entertaining for the long haul. Only time will tell, I guess, but I'm still willing to give Whitney a shot.

Last but not least, "Two Broke Girls" was probably the biggest surprise of them all. Funny from beginning to end with a storyline that actually seemed to be going somewhere (yes, the aforementioned shows had that whimiscal, make-it-up-as-we-go quality), I was charmed by the tale of two girls who share very, very little in common but are forced to work together anyway.

Now as far as sitcoms storylines go, the show's decidedly modern "Laverne and Shirley" approach, where Brooklyn stands in for Milwaukee,  isn't exactly new. But "Two Broke Girls" still held my attention, made me laugh and left me wondering what's going to happen next, which is precisely what every story worth its salt will do.

Plus, the fact that it's served with a heaping side of sarcasm definitely doesn't hurt the cause either. If someone told me that Diablo Cody wrote the teleplay, I wouldn't have been the least bit surprised. Imagine Juno as a waitress with Blake Lively's snobbish "Gossip Girl" character (on a newly strict budget)  as her uppity sidekick, and you've pretty much got "Two Broke Girls." It doesn't reinvent the proverbial wheel, but it sure is fun...or at least, the first episode was, anyway...

What I've Been Doing on My "Summer Vacation"...Part 3

When I haven't been working, hanging with friends and family or flying the friendly skies, my summer fun has often involved my personal entertainment trifecta—TV, music and movies.

While my DVR is certainly less crowded than usual, there are two guilty pleasures that have kept these warmer months interesting, namely "Next Food Network Star" and far, far more embarrassing reality programming, "The Bachelorette."

More than any other season in recent memory, "Next Food Network Star" has been a total trainwreck—and yes, I've absolutely been lovin' it. Unlike last season where the focus was clearly the food, this time around it's the contestants (and their respective drama, drama, drama) that's taking center stage.

Whether it's Penny the sabotager formerly known as "Stilettos in the Kitchen," Alicia the perpetual cryer who couldn't remember her famous cupcake recipe when duty called or Chris, the loud, beer drinking frat boy who's determined to show the judges that he's mature enough to be a star (yeah, right), it's been so delicious to watch.

As for who I think will succeed the lovable Aarti, last season's winner, my early favorites are Jyll, Orchid and Whitney—although I like Justin, the bow tie guy from Minneapolis, too. I'm pretty sure Justin would capture a demo that's been missing on Food Network since no one really has that geeky professor thing going, except maybe Alton Brown who is a little too sarcastic for his own good (and this is coming from a girl who's fluent in sarcasm).

Moving on to "The Bachelorette," lemme just say that I never, ever intended to watch this season. After surviving Brad's journey to find love, I was o-u-t. After all, weepy, boozy Ashley was nothing short of annoying, and I couldn't fathom watching an entire series featuring (gasp!) her.

But when I was flipping through the channels that particular Monday night, it happened again. I don't remember what it was exactly, but slimy Chris Harrison and his cohorts hooked me yet again.

So now I've basically signed up for several weeks of Ashley whining about Bentley (guess she must have skipped the obligatory single girl reading, He's Just Not That Into You), Ashley questioning whether the guys are really there for the right reasons and Ashley declaring how totally perrrrrfect Thailand is. Like every locale on "The Bachelor" or "The Bachelorette," it is the perfect place to fall in love, after all.

Yeah, I'm mocking, and yes, I already can't wait to watch next Monday night. Or make that Tuesday night since I'll be suffering through the third installment of Transformers while Ashley is handing out roses and reconnecting with Bentley in what's likely to be the most controversial episode of The Bachelorette ever! (Those joining me in watching will be the only ones who'll get the significance of that last sentence...ha ha!).

Of course, summer isn't summer without great movies and music, too. Truth be told, most of the summer flicks haven't been worth all the hype (especially you, Pirates of the Caribbean: Could've Used Some Even Stranger Tides.

Thankfully, J.J. Abrams rarely lets me down (the verdict's still out on "Fringe" mind you, since I've never bothered watching), so Super 8 has definitely been one of the highlights, as was Woody Allen's Midnight in Paris, which was pretty much the perfect valentine to the glorious City of Love I visited only months ago.

Musically speaking, I've been loving the new singles from Coldplay and Gavin DeGraw, not to mention the latest album from Death Cab for Cutie. But for some reason, I seem to be stuck on an oldies but goodies kick. So everyone from Rosemary Clooney to Ella Fitzgerald to Miles Davis has been providing the soundtrack to this summer...not a bad way to make it through those tragically hot months if I do say so myself...

Now it's your turn...what's been rockin' your world entertainment-wise this summer? Anything I should be adding to my DVR or iTunes pronto?

An Open Letter to Bachelor Brad's Ladies in Waiting

Dear Britt, Chantal, Emily, Ashley H., Shawntel, and yes, even Michelle,

Yep, it's a little embarrassing to admit that I've faithfully watched your "journey to love" from the first episode. In the absence of Monday Night Football, it's been the guiltiest of pleasures at the end of a long work day, and I gotta say, it's consistently delivered in the ol' entertainment department.

But as much as I've enjoyed watching you sweat those rose ceremonies and gallivanting around the globe in hopes of winning the heart of the man who only speaks in clichés, well, I gotta say that I genuinely hope that he doesn't get down on one knee and propose to any of you.

Truth be told, you're all waaaaaay too good for him—yes, even the loathesome Michelle who seems far more interested in winning than actually spending the rest of her life with a man she could probably chew up and spit out in, oh, about a minute and a half.

While the whole "Bachelor" process of finding "The One" is admittedly weird in the first place (I mean, c'mon, what self-respecting woman really wants to share the affection of one guy with the  gals you're forced to live with for weeks on end?), it's mind-boggling to see beautiful, intelligent, successful women fall for a guy like Brad and feel like there's actually something wrong with them when he inevitably sends 'em packing.

In fact, I'm pretty thrilled for the girls who get sent home because they've dodged a major, major bullet. Sure, Brad Womack certainly didn't get beaten with an ugly stick and could probably be admired from a distance—that is, if you're into the equivalent of a buff Ken doll with a perfect five o'clock shadow. But he's definitely not the guy a girl should be dreaming about marrying.

From time to time, he seems almost human and appropriately more than a little bummed when breaking the bad news to the rejected. But for all his talk about the girls being "open" and "vulnerable" with him, what do we even know about him anyway? Yes, he obviously spends some time at the gym, and yeah, he's looking for a wife. Oh, and in case you missed it, he's "changed" and open to love and marriage and kids and puppy dogs and...well, you get the idea. But unless something major is missing on the cutting room floor, however, he's a bit of a dim bulb with muscles.

Even with a crackerjack counselor (yes, that's sarcasm in case you're wondering) at his immediate disposal when the wife-search gets rough, Brad never opens up or says anything remotely interesting, let alone revelatory. In fact, if I hadn't read his bio on ABC's homepage, I wouldn't have even known what he does for a living or what he likes about living in Austin.

Yet week after week with the most embarrassing bravado, lovely ladies like Chantal confess that they're in love with him, even though they've only shared a few brief moments together on decidedly fantastical dates that won't likely be a part of everyday married life. If anything, you gotta give runaway favorite Emily kudos for playing it cool under some major pressure (like that tacky Nascar-themed date those nasty producers dreamed up). Brad may think she's putting up a wall and not opening up enough sometimes, but really, she's just guarding her heart like any savvy woman should do.

As for the rest of Bachelor Brad's ladies in waiting, I'd start prepping for the next phase in your love lives because in the end, it's going to be Chantal VS. Emily. And with any luck, he'll ditch them both like he did the first time around with Jenni and DeAnna because ultimately, that's probably the best thing for them (and him) for the long haul. Oh and Michelle? Those 15 minutes are just about up...

Sincerely,

Christa Banister, who wishes it wasn't quite so much fun (or heartbreaking) to watch...

Confessions of a Reality TV Novice

Truth be told, I've never been much for reality TV (I know, I know quelle horror!).

Unlike the majority of my fellow Americans, I've never watched a full episode of "Survivor," "The Hills" or even "The Amazing Race."

And the one time I tried watching "Dancing With the Stars," well, that sure wasn't pretty. For me, the pure cheese factor was sooo off to charts that I simply had to change the channel to keep my sanity intact. And I'm guessing a perfect ballroom display by some D-list celebrity isn't about to change my mind any time soon.

Since I'm in full-on confession mode, I'll even admit that my knowledge of what's happening on "American Idol" pretty much comes straight from Entertainment Weekly. I think the last time I sat through an entire episode was when Kelly Clarkson won, which tells you something right there.

Like everyone else, even I have my weaknesses. Thanks to my sister Lindsey, I was recently introduced to the guiltiest of guilty pleasures—"The Bachelor" and "The Bachelorette." Yeah, I know, if I can't sit through Idol, how I could I possibly sit through that?

I think I liked it for the same reason that people often gawk at car accidents. I just couldn't tear my eyes away from the trainwreck. I mean, how weird and ridiculous is it for someone to even attempt to find true love that way? I mean, don't these guys/girls feel a little skeevy when they make out with half of the contestants?

After a few episodes, even I have my threshold, and thanks to the oh-so-witty recaps on Entertainment Weekly's website that are often more fun than actually watching, I'm not entirely devoted yet. After all, there's only so many hot-tub dates a person can sit through without feeling a little ill.

But given my disdain for most reality TV, there is one show that I never, never miss, even in the craziness that's been this summer: The Next Food Network Star. Anyone who knows me well already knows how much I love watching Giada, Ina, Paula and Rachael (yeah, I'd like to think we're on a first-name basis...ha ha), so there's nothing more fun than seeing a bunch of foodies compete (and the challenges are nothing but over-the-top) for a new show on the network.

In fact, I even christened my DVR (yep, I'm finally on the wagon, and yes, it's changed my life) by programming "The Next Food Network Star" in, knowing full well that I'd be watching right when it aired. But I guess in case of meteorites or some other natural disaster, I wanted to make sure I'd see it. Although I'm guessing if meteorites really did hit, that would probably affect the DVR too, but I digress.

For once, I actually like the frontrunner in the competition, too, Ms. Aarti Party herself. Not only does she have some serious culinary chops (and when Bobby Flay and the rest of the Iron Chefs want to open an Indian restaurant with you pronto, that pretty much seals the deal), but I know I'd love watching her show—even if I probably wouldn't attempt making any of the dishes (I always leave Indian food to the experts).

So it pretty much goes without saying that given my love of the show, I seriously can't wait for the finale tonight. While I wouldn't be sad if Tom the Sheep Dog (a.k.a. "Big Chef) won, I think it's going to be Aarti's big night, and I already can't wait for the party to begin...

Spoken like a real addict, huh?

Ok, now I want to hear from you. What reality TV shows are must-watches for you (and why)? And now that I have DVR, is there anything I should be adding to the queue pronto?

There's Nothing Like SD-6 For the Holidays

Will and I recently revisited the first two seasons of "Alias" (and wow, it was just as good as I remembered), one of my all-time favorite TV shows (or before it went downhill from Season 4 on).

Since I was a big fan of "Felicity," another J.J. Abrams' gem that Jennifer Garner made a cameo in, the spy adventures of Sydney Bristow were recommended to me a few times before I officially signed on for the mission.

I'd been told many, many times that I'd be hooked as soon as I started watching. And of course, it didn't take long for me to get majorly addicted. Yes, the writing, the plot twists and turns, the crazy, scale-the-globe missions, yeah, it's all that good.

In case you're wondering why I'm mentioning this, I guess I'm thinking about "Alias" because it's Christmas Eve. Back in my Nashville bachelorette days, I was stuck in Tennessee one particular Christmas. I'm thinking the always-unpredictable Midwest weather may have had something to do with why I couldn't head back to Wisconsin. But whatever the reason, I remember driving to the nearest Best Buy and standing in a long, long line to pick up the first season of "Alias" and some microwave popcorn on Christmas Eve. 

'Cause if you can't be with your family, you need reinforcements, right?

And before Christmas morning rolled around? Well, I was already about a third of the way through all the craziness at SD-6 and beyond.

While I inevitably notice something different every time I've watched, it's really helped serve as inspiration for my own writing (a great justification for having to watch TV, by the way). Not only is it clever and action-packed, but it's been a good exercise in remembering how to develop characters that people really care about.

Whether it's Sydney herself, Vaughn (her handler/amour played by Michael Vartan) or her good pal Will Tippin (Bradley Cooper in his pre-movies breakout role) who endures way more than any good friend should, you can't help but get entrenched in their lives, fictional or not. And that's exactly how I want anyone who reads my writing to feel...invested from the get-go. Basically like I was with "Alias."